Translation: Where is my baby brother? Every once in a while, this phrase pops out of my little one’s mouth. SUPER cute and also kind of sad because a two year-old doesn’t really understand the whole pregnancy concept so he might just think we are lying to him about this so-called Baby Brother. Although my son is concerned with the actual location of this potentially imaginary child, I am quite clear on this point and am WAY more concerned with “Babee Brudder Who Izee?” And…my husband and I are having a seriously difficult time coming up with a name.
I feel like we have been through just about every name known to man. Clearly this is an exaggeration because using a Hawaiian name won’t really fit with our family, but we’ve exhausted all of these lists: Family, Czech/Slovak, English, German, Irish, Mythological, Scandinavian, Scottish, Welsh, and all sorts of lists from the internet such as Classic, Presidential, Vintage…and the list goes on and on. My husband seems to have this horrible ability to find a problem with literally ever single name I have suggested, and when he does feel somewhat OK with a name, he just can’t commit to it. I quite literally cannot believe we ever came up with a name for our first child. What was the magical moment where we went, “That’s perfect!” and then stuck with it?
I think one thing we did right last time was not asking anyone what they thought about it. We kept the sex of our child a secret so we just came up with two names to share with people when they would ask. This time, we decided to share the sex so the name will obviously be for a male. No need for any kind of secrecy now. I like to ask the opinion of others because prior to making a name official, people may feel more free to share how they really feel and point out things like potential nicknames or weird initial issues, but if I love a name, the opinion of others does not really matter to me. My husband is a completely different story. I thought we were pretty settled on Theodore the other night, and then he called his mother. She told him that she didn’t like it so then my husband no longer liked it. However, come to find out, her issue is that she has some sort of pet peeve about names that always end up getting shortened (i.e. Theo, Teddy). So really, there is no issue with the name, it’s just some personal hang-up. After this whole exchange, I decided that asking the opinion of others is now strictly off-limits. It has not proven helpful, in the least.
Now we are to the “we-have-plenty-of-time” phase of coming up with a name (according to my husband). At the time of this post, there is 79 days left until my due date. Seventy-nine days may seem like a long time, but I have had this tiny person in my body for 187 days. A nameless 187 days. As I have addressed in other posts, names are very important to me and are a vital part of identity formation. Granted, my child won’t be forming his own identity for a while, but my relationship with my child will become more full when I have a name to call him. This is an important part of bonding with my child, and I feel like not having a name has gone on far too long.
Naming your children is not a task to be taken lightly and despite my husband’s protests that we are “rushing into it,” I think we’ve had long enough. I doubt that I am the only person to have had this experience, but it often feels like every other parent in the world easily comes up with great names. It is completely ridiculous, but I often get so frustrated that I feel like I’m going to have this baby and we still will not have a name. Does anyone have some tips on how to settle on a name? We have tons of choices, we just need to pick one. Help!!!